Experiments in Writing Techniques

So it is 6:26 am on a Sunday and I'm unfortunately wide awake and have been for about an hour and a half. Something is clearly wrong with me.

That something is called drinking a whole bottle of Riesling last night and expecting to sleep until midday today.

Of course, what actually happened is I woke up at 4:30 am with really bad cramps and a seemingly unquenchable thirst for delicious cold water. I was still feeling a little drunk then, which made the climb down from my loft bed an unpleasant experience of pain and dizziness. After stumbling through my apartment in the dark hitting every corner of every piece of furniture and trying very hard not to curse so that the neighbors won't come up and bitch me out for walking around too loudly again, drinking three tumblers full of water, and chasing back two tablets of ibuprofen with a fourth tumbler, I feel remarkably better although unfortunately wide awake.

Of course, the obvious question to ask is, what in God's name possessed you to drink a whole bottle of Riesling, E? And why are you not swearing off any alcohol from here on forth?

The answer to that is: I intended to ease up my mind to get my creative juices flowing since I've felt a little blocked as of late. I thought I could apply J's Essay Writing Theory (drink wine while you write, let it flow out, go to sleep, edit in the morning. Best of both worlds - the fluidity of words, but constrained and contained by the sanity of the following day's reason) to writing screenplays. Turns out it works. It also turns out that it ceases to work after the third glass. You just sit and stare at the screen and get distracted by the very disturbing video of Of Montreal's "Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Things". This is followed by a viewing of "Electric Car" by They Might Be Giants, missing your housemates like crazy because they should be here in your same drunken stupor egging you on to write more or at the very least laughing at you for freaking out at "Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Things" for the umpteenth time. It all eventually ends with an angry note to your ex that is mostly the F word followed by random verbs and nouns. This letter gets cathartically smashed up and unceremonially thrown in the trash can. You then consider sending the guy you're currently crushing on some stupid text message, but luckily, M's ever-wise voice pops into your head and tells you (rightfully) that you're being an idiot and that this stupid idea has come from the bottle of Riesling you have just consumed. This is when you realize that you've only written 6 scenes out of a whole screenplay you meant to write tonight, and that you almost drunk texted someone, which is always a stupid idea.

You realize that the best thing right now is to drink some water, watch some Friends re-runs and then ascend to your loft bed at 11:20 pm where you immediately fall into a lovely deep sleep.

So, in a way, my writing experiment failed. My productivity crashed dramatically after 16 scenes. On the other hand, those 16 scenes are damned well written.

This poses a problem. I don't want to have to be drunk to write well because (a) poor liver, (b) poor liver, (c) I know I've written well without the aid of riesling before, and (d) that's such a cliche. I know most of my artist friends do their best work in altered states - anything ranging from simple delirious sleeplessness to serious drug abuse - but that just seems like a quick way to die an artistic death. I plan to die like Akira Kurosawa - at age 90 on a film set - thank you very much. So I guess there aren't a lot of Riesling-induced writing sessions in the near or even far future. Which is a good thing. I think.

I am planning another writing session for tonight (after some serious editing, logging, and some Zumba) and I hope that I can get through more than 16 scenes. That 11th draft won't write itself and there are important deadlines coming up.

But maybe I'll start my day with some pancakes.

And another tumbler of water.

Now if only my housemates were around to make me some eggs....goddamnit guys, y'all need to get your butts to Brooklyn like now.

edit: actually did go back to sleep at 7:30 am after writing this post and then, as predicted, woke up again at midday, made pancakes, and watched Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.

Categories: Brooklyn, film, love, Script, wine, writing