So I've been in a funk basically since I left college. For many many reasons that only my closest friends are privy to and that I don't want to go into detail in this blog. A few days ago someone told me something very true about one of these things that I didn't want to admit to myself. They told me, E, you don't need this, you want this very much. And if you stop tricking yourself into thinking that you need it, things will fall back into place and be where you want them to be. And they were right. I did some meditation yesterday to spiritually detox myself of this dependence.
I realize that this sounds like I was on drugs or something. I assure you, it is nothing like that. It's more of an emotional dependence on a person. But dependence on anything can be troublesome. To say "I can't live without this" is sort of ridiculous in most cases. There are three things you can't live without: food, water, and air. Everything else is more or less doesn't affect your physical existence. Being able to detach oneself from dependence on everything else is a good thing because more often than not it's not that you need something but want something really bad. Recognizing that you want something rather than need it empowers you and puts you on an even playing field with it because that which you are dependent on is no longer holding all the cards and pulling all the reigns. It puts you on equal footing and grants you a choice. It is also a good reminder of the transitional nature of the world. It is consistently changing, constantly in a flux.
Sometimes this is hard for me because I am a very passionate person and while that can lead me to make fantastic changes, and do fantastic things, it can also make me get stuck somewhere without the ability to advance...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
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